The Gardener’s Car

Posted byofftheedgegardeningPosted inUncategorizedTags:

Verbena bonariensis

I’ve got a new car.  Yes, a new camera and a new car.  No, I haven’t won the lottery.  Admittedly I did win the premium bonds the other week, but I shared the whopping £25 prize with two friends. Yes a whole £8.33.33333333 each.  This car is not an indulgence.  It has been a necessity for at least nine shaking, spluttering months.  In order to work I need reliable transport.   In order to stay sane I need transport that doesn’t threaten self destruction at any moment.  Driving the old banger is like being a contestant in the Wacky Races, and we are not  talking about Penelope Pitstop’s sporty little number.  Rather imagine the Boulder Mobile.  So last week I got a new car.  When I say “new” I mean “new to me”, that £8.33 didn’t go far.  But who would have thought it?  It doesn’t rattle in an ominous way. There are no odd burning smells.  The heater isn’t jammed on.  The boot doesn’t double as an indoor pool.  It has a rear windscreen wiper.  It has a CD player and electric windows. It is very shiny.  It is very grown up.  It is far too good for me.  I suppose it won’t take long for me to wear it in.  Before brambles scratches the silver lining.  Before mud infiltrates the soft furnishings.  Before the rural lanes splatter their welcome.  Before it is christened as a gardener’s car.  Which is exactly what it is meant to be.

Did I tell you about beeping reversing thingy? Brilliant.  I wonder, can you turn it off?

 

31 thoughts on “The Gardener’s Car”

  1. Lovely.I can just see you whizzing around (well not very fast around your lanes) from location to location .The reverse beeping thing is what I should have but enough said.

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  2. I’m going to have to un-retire and become a paid gardener if I want a new car. I used to be able to park in the smallest of spaces. Then I got a car with those parking beepers. One day, they broke down (mud splashes on the sensors which just happen to be on the rear bumper in prime mud-splashing positions). I just couldn’t park! Oh, and NEVER open those electric windows. Something called a “controller” seems prone to failure. Always when the window’s wide open and it’s pouring with rain and blowing a lusty gale that will shred the black plastic bin bag that’s the only thing you have big enough to cover the hole. And NEVER put your most prized CD in that player. It’ll jam and you’ll never get the CD out again (use your PC to run off a copy that you won’t mind losing). Otherwise, enjoy the “new” car which, I’m sure, will give you many years of unbridled driving joy. Talking of bridles …… xx

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    1. As usual chock-a-block with top tips, John! I am now terrified to touch anything. Not really. Haven’t tried out the CD player yet, might give that a go tomorrow, with an old unloved one of course. 😉 x

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  3. Sounds like my new car before the children got into it. Much the same way as your gardening. Love the reversing beepers. Enjoy your warm car x

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  5. Your attitude to cars sound a lot like my own and I love the whacky races references. I hope your new car delivers you safely to where ever you want to go for many years to come.

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  6. Lovely to hear about your new car, you deserve it, happy driving. I have reversing beepers, I just have to REMEMBER that Mr TT’s car does NOT have them, have had a couple of close shaves. Oooops! Also, care needed as my reversing beepers not sensitive enough to pick up plastic chain fencing. Oooops!

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  9. I’m happy to hear you have reliable transportation at last.

    A shiny car is definitely a double-edged sword. Right now, I’m happy with my 15-year-old car. It looks okay and runs okay, but it doesn’t look so good that someone would want to steal it and I don’t spend time worrying that it will get banged up in the parking lot at the grocery store.

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  10. How wonderful. You will come to rely on your reversing beepy thingy. No more backing into bollards. Or perhaps you don’ t, that could be just me. The only downside is the worry about making it dirty.

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  12. Happy new car! I find the beeping quite stressful, particularly as it gets faster and seems to match my heart rate! My car doesn’t have one, so fortunately I don’t hear it very often. And my car was also pristine, until Archie got in it (only in the boot, but that’s bad enough!), not to mention bags of compost and numerous plants…

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  13. My daughters have cars that bleep like that. Makes me very nervous when we go up the spiral car park ramps at the shopping centre. I’ve got an elderly Honda Jazz that I absolutely love. It’s as comfortable as old shoes. Enjoy your new vehicle- and camera. All the best. Karen

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      2. I love my little Fiesta but there suddenly came a point when I didn’t trust it anymore. The fun turned to fear! Just for short journeys now until the next MOT when it might go to the big crusher in the sky. 😦

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