We are now the proud owners of a water butt. It arrived a couple of weeks ago to greetings of “wow, that is big!” and “I didn’t realise it would be so enormous!”. Still, this is South Wales, not known for desert conditions. Soon it is sure to be full and I can water the garden with aplomb instead of guilt as the water bill rises.
DIY is not the house speciality. We accept this fact with a little sadness but are resigned to our fate. The printed instructions for installation of the butt were incomprehensible. I trawled the internet and found a video. We watched the video. Easy-peasy. You just remove a section from the downpipe, fit the thingy into it and then the other end of the elephant trunk goes into to the butt. OH will manage that, if not easily, then eventually.
“I’ve decided” OH announced, “that we will install the water butt together” as if it was some grand romantic gesture. “Great” said I. Inner voices were saying something quite different.
“Today, I am going to have a day off, no chores, no admin, just suiting myself”. I said. “That is the best idea, you relax, you’ve been working very hard.” was my caring OH’s reply.
Half an hour later. “Shall we do the water butt now?”. “OK” I replied. Inner voices were shouting something quite different.
We watched the video again. “Would you like to see it one more time?” I asked. “No need, I think I’ve got it.”
I was in charge of holding onto the downpipe whilst he sawed and reminding OH what was on the video. Let us just say, it was not a bit like the film. There was minimal shouting, a lot of adjusting and reassuring ourselves that there must be quite a large margin for idiots. Once the pipe was severed, I left him to it.
I was called to inspect the work. It is in place. It is rather skewy, charmingly at a jaunty angle, but it is definitely in place. “It is just perfect.” I said “Like us. Perfectly unperfect. ” And for once my inner voices agreed.
Whether it works or not, is a different issue. Since then, not a drop.
The suspense is palpable.