Grief

Many years ago, after my beloved Dad died, I crossed paths with the MD of the company I was employed at “it is funny to think that this is happening many, many times, every day across the world” he said, referring to my loss. I grunted and scurried away, probably to weep in the toilets. I have periodically thought about this insensitive comment from an inadequate man.  I wish I had had the foresight to say “but my dad doesn’t die every day, you ignorant brute” but I didn’t. Recent sad events have reminded me of this episode and have caused me to soften my harsh judgement of the tongue tied man.

In truth, it is difficult to know what to say, when tragedy strikes. Perhaps, in reflective moments, my boss remembers the crass comment he made to the grieving underling, he may even blush slightly in shame. Perhaps. We all, myself included, try to make sense of the world by aligning it to our own experiences, both first and second hand. But bereavement doesn’t work like that. It is not one size fits all, it is tailor made to each and every sufferer.  We should not presume how they can best move forward from their devastation.  They need space and time and no schedule.  They need friends and family who don’t judge or preach.  They need people to appreciate the uniqueness of their particular challenge. Not for a week, a month or year. For ever. As everything has changed now. Forever.

I was going to end there, but it seems terribly abrupt. The promise of hopeless and unremitting heartache. You know me too well for that. There will be light again, a little subdued, or just a glimmer, but light all the same.

Six on Saturday – Solidarity

These are sad times for our Six on Saturday community. I am sure I am not alone in finding it tricky to find the words this week. However, it is important that we do and, in doing so, show solidarity. It is vital we support each other in this world, real or virtual. On a weekly basis we share our gardens and our thoughts for those who wish to look and listen, can anything be more as positive? As Jim said “The weeds never stop growing”. We need to keep on keeping on. Now, let us Six on Saturday.

I have a comfrey plant confined to a large trug, with which to make “tea”. Last year’s result was a little insipid, it definitely needed more oomph. On reflection, this should have been obvious when no one fainted when the bucket lid was lifted. This year we must stuff more leaves in and hopefully get a stronger brew.

Last year, or was it the year before, I grew a turmeric plant from a supermarket rhizome. Unfortunately, after a fine start, and I probably bragged about my success, it keeled over. Last week it came to me that I should give it another go. In gardening it is as well to have a goldfish brain when it comes to failures.

Rogersia ”Heavenly Gill’ is well on its way. Although I am fond of her when the leaves have grown and spread, I think it is at this stage, with crinkled juvenile foliage, that I love her most.

The first rose bud has arrived, this is Fragrant Cloud, a favourite of both myself and OH. Yes, we do agree on some things.

When I came home from a sleepover at Peggy’s earlier this week, I found that OH had been spreading mushroom compost around the garden. Beautiful. No complaints here.

Uvularia grandiflora is now in full flow. I don’t think any more words are necessary.

There we have it, another six completed. Keep on keeping on, my friends.

Six on Saturday – Soothing

I’ve had a busy week. Busy in a good way. Which means that I am weary but contented. And a little bit sad. Spring has the knack of soothing the troubled soul and providing positivity where perhaps it would usually be tricky to find it. This week my favourite season has done a sterling job. Now don’t you pass to fast! If you would like to catch up with what other SoSers are up to, pop over to Jim at Garden Rumination and take your fill. Time to SoS.

Under the ornamental pear tree, in the Guano Bed, there are a couple of unnamed hostas. These were in place when we moved in, two of the few plants in situ. As yet they are not nibbled, perhaps sparrow poo is a mollusc deterent as yet undiscovered!

Is it a good year for tulips or is it just that I planted many more in the autumn after I forgot the previous year and seethed with jealously when I saw everyone elses’? One or the other.

The emerging acer foliage is an annual joy. The Woolies acers definitely need to be potted into bigger containers. Too late this year? Probably. Does that mean I won’t give it a go? We will see.

Myself and OH are having our usual “friendly” spud growing competition. We will not be comparing like for like though. Earlier in the year I bought two different cultivars. For myself I chose Sarpo Una, for its alleged blight resistance and high yield. He will be growing Jacky, because I am very fond of his cousin with the same name.

Erythronium ‘White Beauty’ is looking classy. The photobombing celandine a little less so.

This little Primula ‘Port and Lemon’ was a gift from my SoS sister, Noelle. Unfortunately, it succumbed to the evil weevil. Fortunately, I have brought it back from the brink. For this, I am very pleased.

There we have it, another week under my belt. Stay safe and well, my friends.

Six on Saturday – Keeping on

April has arrived, although sometimes I doubted it would. Our weather has been variable this week, as has my clothing. On, off, on, off, hot, cold, hot, cold. Wednesday I was in full waterproofs, not because of the wet but because I spent the morning hoiking bags of spent mushroom compost and had to visit to Sainsbury’s in the afternoon. I do try to be a little considerate when I re-enter the real world. Or perhaps it is the alternative universe and I inhabit reality. Who knows? Mine is a pretty good world most of the time, so I will stick with that for the foreseeable. Join me if you will. If you would like to eavesdrop on gardens across the world and beyond (I believe Rhody is from the Planet Cute) check out Mr G at Garden Ruminations. Shall we make haste?

Photinia ‘Pink Marble’ is seriously under-rated in this garden. Once summer comes, with exuberant salvias and the like, it is thrust into the background. Slowly, slowly it is growing, holding its own. Fair play.

I have made a massive mistake in the garden. In truth, there are many, but we should dwell on one at a time. I planted this Ompalodes cappadocica ‘Cherry Ingram’ right next to Pulmonaria ‘Blue Ensign’. Both blue, both flowering now, neither standing out to their full potential. A shuffle is in order.

This picture is quite joyful. Joyful to me. This is the dahlia that I named for my Mum and by default for my Dad. It is not a strong plant, it has caused me heartache and I have chased replacements across the land (thanks for your help Emma). It is rallying. I am very happy. As is my wont, I have mentioned this special dahlia before, for those interested here is a smidgeon more information on the wonderful Peggy’s Pearlers.

I have struggled with auriculas. The romantic theatres, rows of terracotta, precision, perfection and, one of the most wonderful words aside from “kelp”, farina. All beyond me. Except this one. Inspite and despite.

I’ve grown Pelargonium ‘Mystery’ before, but I was never sure if it was its real name or just that someone had misplaced the label. Perhaps that is a reflection on me. When offered it again, by the wonderful Welsh John, I jumped at the chance (along with Lord Bute, watch this space). Coming home from a day away, I was thrilled to see this greeting. Now for cuttings and careful tending, I don’t want to lose it again.

Tulipa praestans ‘Shogun’ has been making a fine display for the last few days. Initially I was going to show you a picture of its gaping amber blooms, a colour as warm and comforting as banana ice cream. Then I noticed the fine combination of voila and tulip and did a complete U-turn. I’m like that. Fickle.

There we have it, all done, all well. Keep on, keeping on, whatever planet you might be from.

Six on Saturday – Top Tips

I may have been a little cocky about the weather last week. My prideful fall inevitably came, but luckily I didn’t plummet too far. It has turned significantly colder, that is true, it has also been wetter, much to my annoyance. But there has been no frost, which was the main concern. Still, despite the fickle weather, spring is bounding along at a fair lick. I have a To Do List as long as someone much rangier than me’s arm, encompassing both my garden and my clients’ properties. This is what spring is to a gardener. A wonderful season that see-saws between romantic optimism and blind panic. It will settle down, it always does. No promises though, not in this world. Less preaching, more SoSing. Give yourself a break and pop over to our mentor Jim at Garden Ruminations blog and indulge in a little vicarious garden joy. Time for me to share:

Bergenia ciliata ‘Dumbo’ settled in nicely last year but got knocked back by the autumnal frosts. The flowers are looking a little ragged after a battering from wind and rain, but I love them all the more for that. Now the leaves will have to make an effort to return to their former glory and beyond. As a postscript; anyone else call them “silly arse-a”? I thought as much.

The rather ominous spears of Uvularia grandiflora are emerging from the deep. This shade lover is one of my favourites, the US have some splendid woodland plants, and its Hammer House of Horror entrance makes it all the more special.

All alone in the world, the arrival of this jolly tulip is a mystery. No complaints here.

It was a surprise this week to find flowers on the Asarina procumbens that were grown from seed last year. At the end of the season they were shoved into the plastic greenhouse, where the less than precious but more than average go for the winter. There are three, so I will probably keep one and pass the others on. Very pleased.

The currant with two names, Ribes x gordonianum and Ribes x beatonii, is less flash than it’s sanguineum cousin but just as beautiful.

When I started writing this blog it wasn’t to impart “what to do or what not to do” horticultural words of wisdon, I felt there were plenty doing that already. My aim was merely for rambling reality, often virtual, occasionally nonsensical. Sometimes, inadvertently, I’ve imparted a nugget or two. I apologise for that. Here is one such instance. If you want to smuggle a new Magnolia ‘Susan’ into the house, or any other unnecessary or inappropriate plant, pretend it is a gift for your other half. You are very welcome.

There we have it, another six, another Saturday, another crazy week in this world. Keep the faith, my friends.

Six on Saturday – Ready or Not

There has been no “ready”, there has been no “steady”, there has just been “GO!” A few days absent, a few days of warmth and suddenly the garden has gone into hyperdrive. Spring has sprung, just in time for the equinox, excellent timing. Of course then we get the “false spring” advocates, the “only kidding spring” supporters, the “having a laugh, winter will come back and bite your bottom” doomsayers. I’m having nothing of it. It has arrived and my heart is singing. A tiny part of me hopes I will not return next week with my tail between my legs, rueing my impetuosity. If you wish to learn more about SoSing and SoSers, please pop over to Jim at Garden Ruminations and he will get you up to speed and you can meet the gang. Let’s get on, there is gardening to be done!

The Ribes sanguineum ‘King Edward VII’ is at its splendid peak, buzzing with pollinators like a seasonal life force.

My mini-Magnolia stellata is doing well, with lots of blooms this year. Still quite bijou, but then again so is the garden.

Because I not yet bored of saying so – I was thrilled last year when we had four ripe fruit from our peach tree, grown by OH from a stone (peach stone not any random pebble, he is good but not that good). This flower made me smile as it appears to be looking me straight in the eye saying “this year will be even better”. Does double pride cancel out the fall?

I planted some crocus underneath the rotary washing line, along with some white fritillery. Some suspicious holes appeared soon after and I feared the worse. Seems that crocus aren’t that tasty after all.

We were meant to have the Pyrus ‘Chanticleer’ pruned this winter. It didn’t happen. I was loathe to have burly, stomping tree surgeons trampling on the sodden ground. Then it was too late. In celebration it is giving a wonderful display of lily white flowers.

Ipheion uniflorum ‘Wisley Blue’ is looking quite washed out in this photo. Rooky error of photographing in the sun. Had I mentioned the sunshine? Even in more subtle lighting this delicate little flower could barely be described as blue. I may have mentioned this before. Repetition is becoming a larger part of my life. I am certain it will only get worse.

As a postscript to last week’s Away Day in Wells, I am thrilled that although my message had disappeared, (cleared by over zealous maintainers, robbed by lucky pooches?), two of our SoS family left messages in its place. Chapeau to Noelle and Torington Tina, who sculpted variously a halo and greeting out of birch twigs. Wonderful.

Six on Saturday – On Tour – The Wrong Day

I believe we are allowed at least one “On Tour” Six on Saturday a year, perhaps many more. At the moment I am staying with my friend Dorcester Doris, in a town not far from where several of my SoS friends live. And whilst she slaves over a bacchanalian feast, I thought I would share our wonderful, but previous, day with you. I’ve omitted the extreme disco roller skating and ninja arm wrestling, dwelling purely on all things horticultural. To find out more about SoS, it’s perpetrators and it’s many complex rules and regulations, pop over to our leader Jim all will be revealed.  The story shall begin.

I was thrilled when DD suggested a trip to Wells as I had noticed that a Rare Plants Fair was due this weekend.  I knew that Torrington Tina was going and guessed that Noelle and perhaps even Graeme would be attending. Dan Cooper an old friend had a stall and others that I follow on social media. Surprise! I would cry when I bumped into them. Imagining their shocked/happy horrified face.  Unfortunately I got the day wrong, the fair is tomorrow when I will be wending my way home.   A cruel blow.

DD, Bertie the dog and myself visited the Bishop’s Palace gardens anyway, it was a gorgeous day and such an opportunity was not to be missed.  And it did not disappoint. I could quite easily have produced Sixty on Saturday. It took much willpower and photo culling but this lovely Tulipa sylvestris was always going to make the cut.  The steep banks up to the ramparts are carpeted with this understated beauty and native primroses. In the sunshine it was a treat.

This magnificent Quercus ilex was another star of the show. With newly planted beds below of ferns and hellebores and other shade lovers, it can only get better and better, year on year.

There was a jaw dropping start to our garden tour; several outrageous specimens of Edgeworthia ‘Red Dragon’ outshone their fragrant border companions of witch hazel and daphne.

Monumental tetrapanax are just beginning to shoot fresh leaves from their giraffe neck stems. Soon their exotic foliage will match the scale of their trunks.  At the moment they look rather comical.

I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet any friends at the fair, hopefully there will be another time, but I have left a message for you to discover.  The header shot is another clue.  There is a chance, I suppose, that it will have gone by tomorrow, but perhaps it will survive, it might even have been added to. 

Have fun, whatever you are up to.

Six on Saturday – Inspired

I’ve been lacking inspiration. I have been bored with the weather, the enforced incarceration, myself. However, this week I found some va va voom again or at least some voom. And it is all thanks to you.

The garden is so wet it would be foolish to even attempt working in it, and although admittedly I have done some rather foolish things in the past, I have so far managed to avoid this one. I squelched around the garden solely to take some photos and returned to dry land as soon as possible. The joys of clay soil. Then I had a quick tidy in the greenhouse, pricked out some prematurely sown tomatoes (are there any other sort?) and moved some of the hardier tenders outside for a bit of fresh air and some cleansing mizzle. All whilst wearing some white denim dungarees, well they had been white. See above for foolish things. Someone who I am sure is seldom daft is our Six on Saturday curator Jim at Garden Ruminations, pop over to meet with not only himself but SoSers from across the known universe. I have my suspicions that others may be from further afield. Let us proceed, forthwith.

Crocus, even though these are a little nibbled, are always welcome. A stalwart of the Harbingers of Spring gang, they definitely punch above their weight.

Some things that are easy for others seem impossible for me. Incompetence, ignorance, impatience, a curse by an evil warlock; all are possible reasons for my failure to successfully grow meconopsis. Today, the sight of Meconopsis ‘Lingholm’ shooting once more gave me a massive thrill and a smidgeon of hope. The other two I planted in the same pot have apparently rotted, they are dead to me. Literally.

I am slightly ashamed to admit that lungworts are not in my top ten, or even top hundred. Quite why this is the case is a puzzle. Both why I am ashamed and why I don’t appreciate them enough. Pulmonaria ‘Blue Ensign’ is doing its very best to change my mind.

Acacia dealbata ‘Gaulois Astier’. Joyful.

Here we have another unnamed but stunning member of my garden family. A random seedling, which of course we all are, some more beautiful than others. Some beautiful in less obvious ways.

And the punchline is: today I received a card from my SoS Sister, Noelle, sending me Miscanthus nepalenis seed heads. Again. The last time I failed to germinate them. There was no judgement, just “let us try again”. That is what it is all about. That is the inspiration. It doesn’t take a lot, but in my scheme of things it is vast. Never underestimate an act of kindness.

Six on Saturday – Respite

Yesterday (which is today really but I am pretending that it is Saturday) there was some respite from the rain. The sun shone, it was mild, it was cockle-warming. And I leapt, rather elegantly, rather inelegantly, on the opportunity to take photos for today’s SoS. Meagre portions again, but one must make an effort. If you would like to explore the exploits of other members of this gang, please hop over to Jim at Garden Ruminations and enlightenment is sure to follow. Legs, prepare to be shaken.

I was a little concerned about Phlomis ‘Rougemont’ being out on its own in the big bad winter world. A little dishevelled, but making a valiant effort.

My SoS Sister, Noelle, sent me these cyclamen seedlings last year. Pure silver with a rebel in the mix. Perfect analogy.

Magnolia stellata, I can taste the anticipation.

Crocus, nothing special and very special at the same time.

Euphorbia mellifera is a great favourite of mine. Vast and fragrant, quite where it will end up is anyone’s guess and no one’s business.

OH came home one day and said “I found this giraffe on my walk”. I put her in the greenhouse and looked out for “my child’s favorite toy has gone missing” messages on the local FB page. Nothing. She is mine.

Back to work on Monday. It might be messy.

Six on Saturday – Full of Hope

Is hope all that remains? Of course not. We have courage and inspiration and imagination and determination and resilience. And lots more besides. We have spring just around the corner. And we have Six on Saturday where, under the auspices of Jim at Garden Ruminations, we embrace whatever season we are in with acceptance and joy and absolutely no moaning whatsoever. Ok, that last bit might be an exaggeration, especially on my part, but the rest is truth. We have a lot. We have enough. Shall we shake a leg?

This hellebore seedling does not care it has no name nor that I didn’t catch its likeness well. And I don’t care either, its arrival, as the first of the bunch, is very welcome.

The sarcococca in the Guano Bed is flowering very well. The best ever. This is since I found out, from a fellow SoSer, that this winter flowerer is happy in dry shade. There are countless benefits to this malarkey.

This is my indulgent non-intentional arty photo. From late autumn onwards it is a battle to resist tidying up the herbaceous perenials. There are needs during these barren months greater than my urge for order. Actually, my urge for order is quite minimal. Soon though I will have to set to the borders. The compost bin is bracing itself.

Rhodendron ‘Graziella’ buds are almost as beautiful as the blooms. All that wonderful potential, sitting there in that magnificent waiting room.

I have been rather show off-y about my Salvia curviflora, which had become more tree than herb. After are recent period of persistent cold, nay ice, it is looking rather pathetic, nay dead. This cutting in the greenhouse is shrugging it all off. It remains to be seen if the parent plant makes it through, but if not, all is not lost.

I do love a daylily and I especially love a Pollie’s daylily. This is Hemerocallis ‘Nona’s Garnet’, beginning its journey, a little nibbled but not bowed. I can’t wait!

That is your lot for this week. Keep the faith, my friends!