Something Strange In the Neighbourhood

Sometimes it takes a while to get to know my clients. First impressions, although important, are rarely but a fragment of the story. As the years progress, glimmers of personality and especial traits emerge, guards are let drop and truth filters out. The Fit Family are a case in point. I believe I’m really getting to know them now and have found them to be a rather charming family. Let me enlighten you.

There is no doubt that Mr and Mrs Fit are a devoted couple. In fact when they said “til death do us part” there was a codicil of “and even afterward we will stick together”. Quite touching.

The family have many hobbies, including a deep seated interest in science, most especially human anatomy and herbology. Mrs Fit is always conjuring something up in the kitchen, that cauldron of hers is always bubbling away nicely. As for Mr Fit, his skills with the spade are exemplary, he must have had a lot of experience digging holes, although 6ft deep is a little excessive for a dahlia. The darling Fitettes enjoy nothing more than playing with their dolls. I am, however, a little concerned that the pins piercing the hearts of these, strangely familiar, effigies may pose a health and safety risk to these sweet girls.

Mr Fit is a natty dresser, always spotlessly turned out in black suit and cravat, and I’ve never seen a man sport a top hat as well as he does. If I were to be hyper-critical, and I am loathe to offend, I would suggest he might have been over-training. Perhaps an increased carb intake would be beneficial in the long run.

There is nothing Mrs Fit enjoys more than a good old knees-up around the Joanna accompanied by the family choir. Their repertoire includes Monster Mash, Highway to Hell, Werewolves of London and Psycho Killer. To enhance their vocal range, a quick whip round with the duster wouldn’t go amiss.

The FF are also great animal lovers, in fact you could say they are worshippers. We will finish with a picture of their adorable little pussy cat, Daughter of Beelzebub. Rather a catchy name, don’t you think?

Happy Halloween, everyone!