Nigella’s Parmesan Shortbread

The idea was to empty the compost bin. It is full to bursting and a few gaps have now appeared in the borders where any bounty can be piled. Yesterday was the kind of day when those kind of plans are made. Sunny, crisp, invigorating, all descriptors of the perfect autumn, on the cusp of winter, day. Today is the the kind of day that plans are shelved. Damp and dreary, oppressively gloomy, the reality of life.

I’ve got a busy week ahead, I argued with myself, stay in the warm and prepare. I didn’t take much persuading. Reading the Sunday papers, as part of my mental preparation, a Nigella Lawson recipe caught my eye – parmesan shortbreads. It sounded simple enough. There were just four ingredients, all of which I already had, which made a pleasant change. I would think of it as research, if they were delicious and easy I could make some for Christmas.

As always, the real recipe (an approximation) is in standard type, my version in italics.

Parmesan Shortbreads

Mix all the ingredients together until a golden dough begins to form a clump.
Lift out all contents of the cupboard to get mixer at the very back (a reflection on how often I use it) and replace all the contents once more. Then notice that you don’t need to use a mixer, you can use a bowl and wooden spoon instead. Feeling noble, I decide to forgo technology and use the time honoured hands on approach. Take all the contents of the cupboard out again, replace mixer and return the contents once more. Realise the butter should be soft, so weigh out 100g and put it in a saucer on the radiator. Weigh out 150g of flour and grate 75g parmesan. One of my most hated jobs in the kitchen is grating cheese. I am brave. Put them both in a bowl with an egg yolk, wonder what to do with the egg white. “Make a meringue” flashed into my mind, I threw my head back and laughed manically and poured it into the food waste. Then I felt a bit guilty. Butter is still rock hard. Time for another coffee and a rest.

Time passes, butter is softish but I can’t wait any longer. Mix it all together with the wooden spoon which doesn’t seem to be working too well so decide to go rogue and use my hands.

Turn out onto a surface and knead for 30 seconds and divide into two.
I am not hopeful that this is going to be kneadable, but it appears that I should have more faith in Nigella.

Using your hands, roll both sections into cylinders about 3cm in diameter, clingfilm them and refrigerate for 45 minutes.
There was quite a lot of squishing and squashing and wondering just how big 3cm. I was tempted to find a ruler but my Nan wouldn’t have bothered with any measuring nonsense and she wouldn’t have known nor cared what a centimeter was. So I channeled my dear Jesse and guessed. I put the little Christmas crackers into the fridge to firm up, set Grumpy Cat to 45minutes and made some lunch.

Preheat the oven to 160C fan and line baking sheet with parchment paper.
Grumpy Cat dinged and I hadn’t put the oven on or lined the baking sheet. Yet again I am puzzled why I own parchment paper, but I do and I am very pleased of that fact. Oven won’t take long to heat up.

Cut dough rolls into 1cm thickness and place on sheet. Should make 35-40.
35-40?!!! I think not. Cut into approximately 1cm pieces, or what I imagine 1cm should look like and place on tray. A bit of a squeeze, what if they spread a bit? Line another tray, adjust boiling hot shelves in oven, getting steam facial at the same time. Distribute evenly between the two trays. Still only 20 biscuits. Maybe my 1cm is not the same as Nigellas.

Bake for 15-20 minutes until just beginning to turn pale gold at the edges.
Set Grumpy Cat for 15 minutes, shout at the Bargain Hunt contestants. GC dings. Check in oven, is that pale gold? I think so. I hope so.

And the result? Delicious! And yes, Peggy, I am hoping to bring some for you to try. And yes JK, I am hoping there will be a couple for you as well. But they are extremely moreish ……. Thanks Nigella, you didn’t let me down, I didn’t doubt you for a moment!