Framed

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There has been significant progress in the Case of the Stolen Pasty.  Some new evidence has come to light which has led to an arrest.  We received a tip-off from Mrs G sorry, an undisclosed member of the public.  For her own safety she is presently in a witness protection programme at Carol the Cake’s house oops, an unidentified location.  It appears that shortly after the said incident Mr G left the country.  Suspicious by his sudden desire to camp in the pouring rain in France, I delved deeper into Mr G’s murky past. It seems that he has “form” in the pasty department.  A self-confessed pastyaholic and founder member of the Pasty Liberation Front, he has been under surveillance by the Pasty Police for some time now.  All the evidence pointed to the fact that the Pony Posse, not lily-white angels themselves, were set up by Mr G who ate the pasty himself.  To prove this theory a trap was set for the ruthless villain.  An unattended Traditional pasty was left on the bench outside the office whilst I hid in the feed shed.  As expected it didn’t take long for his well-developed pasty sensors to locate the bait.  He sidled up and pounced like a lion on a wildebeest, there was no hope for the incident victim.  “You’re nicked”, I shrieked, as he was caught in the heinous act of stuffing the pasty sideways into his mouth.  “Its a fair cop” he sniggered, and shortcrust pastry, potato, swede, a nice bit of beef skirt seasoned with a generous sprinkling of black pepper was spat vehemently in my direction.   He threw back his head and emitted a spine-tingling evil cackle and headed at speed towards his getaway tractor clutching onto what remained of his spoils. Unfortunately, for him, the tractor wouldn’t start (might I suggest checking the alternator) which made an arrest quite straightforward.  No remorse has been shown. He will be offered full rehabilitation.  The ponies have been given a full pardon and an extra apple each.  Case closed.

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