Farm Force – The Sequel

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It all began with one of those light bulb moments, the ones that my clients are beginning to fear. I was merrily working away at the du Maurier’s earlier in the week when my gaze strayed towards the Roman Colosseum, or rather Mr du M’s  almost full sized interpretation constructed solely from willow.  As they say “once an architect, always an architect”.  As I consider myself to be somewhat of a horticultural matchmaker it crossed my mind that perhaps I could redistribute some of the prunings.  And I had the perfect candidate in mind.   The Farm.   The du Maurier’s kindly agreed to let us have whatever we wanted, so the hot iron was struck.  Yesterday morning Mr G and myself headed over to pick up some neatly bundled willow rods, full of burgeoning potential.

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The area I had in mind to renovate was a scrubby piece of planting above the pond.  It is essential to have some disincentive here as a safety barrier but the hodgepodge of thorn and cornus is both ugly and prickly.  Two characteristics most definitely to be discouraged.  What we need instead is a beautiful, sculptural, organic fedge.

The first thing to do was to make a plan.  Luckily for all concerned, draughtsmanship is one of my many talents.  It didn’t take long to produce an accurate drawing for us to work from.

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As usual Slasher rose to the challenge, clearing the site and humouring me with equal enthusiasm. What I initially understood as looks of wonder at my amazing plan, from both SS and Mrs G, I later found out were in fact masks of utter confusion.  Happy in my ignorance we forged forward and once cleared the slate was clean and ready for the construction.

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Armed with essential tools we were ready to create some art!  After a little head scratching (and more puzzled looks) we worked like a well oiled machine, with me as Executive in Charge of Cutting to Length, Slasher was Director of the Measurements and Holes and Mrs G String and Knot Monitor.

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We were progressing well until Mrs G received a Loose Animal Alert.   This was followed by a prolonged interlude for some wild calf chasing, stock counting, an imaginary ginger heifer and Slasher encountering a giant cow.  As it turned out the escaped beast was not one of The Farm’s well behaved and orderly stock.  Naturally.

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The programme was set back considerably, but luckily we had some contingency built in.  In my experience this is often a necessity.   So back to work and as the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon the job was finished.  Almost disappointingly no one had fallen in the water, the only casualty was the tape measure, which was fished out unharmed.  In the dimming light and the now persistent rain we patted ourselves on the back for a job well done.  Farm Force strikes again!

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You must agree it looks exactly like my drawing.

ps This photo was taken today, as by the time we had finished it was too dark for a good shot  of the finished article.

pps  Watch this space for the next project, I am thinking Taj Mahal ……

17 thoughts on “Farm Force – The Sequel

  1. For a project of this size we will have to go and measure the building ourselves. After seeing your plan I’ve realised it’s no use leaving such an important job to anyone else. I’ve packed a toothbrush, tape measure and a spare pair of socks, and I’ve asked for time off – can you think of anything else we might need?

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