Off The Edge Gardening

Today was proper winter.  Winter just like in story books.  Not damp and dark, but raw and bright.  After a frosty start, and the first windscreen scrape of the season, the sun rose blindingly.  Where its magic wand touched the crusty ground it thawed, making is quite workable.  Shaded plants glistened with stardust.  Wearing more layers than a millefeuille I stayed toasty warm in this mysterious icy land.  At lunchtime I sat with my face to the sun and basked like a self-satisfied cat.  Or perhaps a self-satisfied gardener.

This post is for L&L ensconced in an exotic paradise.  I am convinced they are not missing us at all and so need to be reminded of all the wonderful things they are missing in Blighty.  Reclining on beachside loungers sipping pina coladas, paragliding off forested mountainsides, swimming with dolphins in the balmy waters, hiking through virgin rainforest, feasting on lobster and kumquat; it may just cross their minds not to bother coming home at all.  Why, it is hard to imagine. I am depending on some pictures I took of their garden to say thousands of words, all of them tempting and tantalising.

Although there are many open flowers on this Camellia “Donation” it was a bud, doing a fine impression of a rose, that took my fancy.  So perfect, like a kiss.

The irresistable pansy with a face that could melt the heart of the hardest cynic.

A host of daffodils is over rated.  A single, admittedly battered, bloom is all you need.

And my trump card, an adorable little hellebore, flushed with pink and green.

So glad you are having a lovely time, but you better come home soon the garden is waking up!

ps Nobody on any account is to mention the weather.

With cold weather on the way this frog spawn is more likely than not, as Private Fraser* would say, doomed.   The frost will do its worst and it will disintegrate and disappear.  However today the sight of this multi-eyed mass was a heart and toes warming sign of spring edging ever closer.  As for tadpole casualties, I’m sure the frogs will have another go, any excuse!

* for those of you unacquainted with this character please Google for enlightenment.

After much deliberation I have chosen a new tree to follow.   For those of you who aren’t acquainted with Tree Following and think I am having another one of my funny turns, I will explain.  This is a wonderful meme, institaged by Lucy at http://www.looseandleafy.blogspot.co.uk, and entails following a tree throughout the year, or for as long as possible, and documenting the detail.  Actually it is more of a tree watch than a follow as on the whole they don’t move far, not unless yours lives in the Enchanted Forest.  Anyway check out Lucy’s great blog and I am sure all will become clear.

So *drumroll* *annoyingly overlong pause* please meet Larix decidua, the European Larch, my new subject.  From now on it will be known as “my tree” although technically it isn’t.  Actually in no way or form is it mine but I am hoping that George wont mind sharing.

I hestitated to pick this tree for the sole reason that its owner isn’t keen on larch (I believe this is more to do with the amount of specimens on their land than a personal vendetta) so I thought it would be contrary to spend the next year singing its praises.  Ultimately the “fors” far outweighed the “againsts” so I am going to take up the challenge and make it my quest to convert Mrs George to the charms of this amazing deciduous conifer.

Here we go again ……

 

Due to birthday celebrations (not mine but I like to be helpful) today was a day off.  We drove through heavy rain to Crow Point car park, the sun immediately came out and we walked the coast in beautiful sunshine.  The return drive was a hail storm.  Someone was on our side today.

Today I have been writing about hellebores for a magazine article.  The most interesting fact, and one I am sure you will appreciate, is that if you stand on the powdered root it will render you invisible.  Honest, I read it!

This wonderful stand of hellebores is on my friend Pat the Field’s land where she grows a wide range of amazing cut flowers.  Don’t forget to support our local producers 🙂

I have just seen the weather report for the coming week.  It doesn’t bode well for gardening of any shape, form or persuasion, except for those lucky enough to have access to a greenhouse or conservatory.  On reflection I don’t think it bodes well for any outdoor activity, much more an  indoor pursuits kind of week, tidying out under the stairs or lying on the settee with leftover Christmas chocolates (yes there are still many many many of these golden brown temptresses in our house) watching Casablanca or equivalent.   In summary this is the forecast: a blue amorphous blob is approaching rapidly from the Atlantic where it slows significantly to dawdle nonchalantly across the south-west only to be ushered away by further saturated blobs in its wake that appear to be just as lazy.   This is unfortunate as, the more astute of you may well have worked out, I make my living as a gardener.  So these swirling amoeba of torrential rain and gale force winds brings with them a problem – the conundrum of when it is right to work and when it is not.

There may be doubters, but it is more than just a case of not wanting to get wet and mess my hair up.  Although few enjoy working in the rain (mainly ducks and the weird and I’m not sure how much work ducks actually do) it is unlikely to be anything much worse than uncomfortable for the worker.  Getting up a sweat whilst dressed in full waterproofs, even the poshest breathable kit, and the result is boil-in-the-bag gardener, I believe considered a delicacy in the nether regions of the Alpha Centauri star system.   Some pay thousands for an equivalent spa treatment.  It is not the gardener that is the problem, it is the garden.  There are some jobs that can be safely undertaken in bad weather without detriment to the garden, there are many that can’t.  In fact even when the rain has stopped the soil may well be unworkable for a while.  Once I explained to a client that I may not make it in as there was snow forecast “afraid of a little cold weather” he mocked “no” I replied “the ground will be covered in snow”.  Pruning is a job that can be done in the wet, as long as you don’t have to stomp all over flower beds in order to do so.  However “twinkle toes” you consider yourself to be (and I certainly do not come into this category) this will compact your soil, potentially ruining years of careful nurturing.

So this is the entrance to the moral maze, do you turn up for work, at best achieve little at worst cause damage and not be “value for money” or do you stay at home to do the paperwork* and miss an opportunity that the weather may improve, get labelled a “fair weather” and of course miss out on a days pay?  I don’t know the answer, I just want to be fair, all I can say is that I am looking forward to spring!

This magnificent acacia at Damage Hue has no interest in the weather.

* See previous references to settee activities

No, can’t see it anywhere!

Judge:  Would the defendent, Ms Clumsy McGardener, please take the stand.  Place your hand upon the Royal Horticultural Society’s Encyclopedia of Gardening and swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  Thank you.  Let us proceed.

Prosecution Barrister:  Are you Ms Clumsy McGardener?

MCM:  I am occasionally known by that name, but I have many others.

Barrister:  That will do.  Now in your own words explain the events of the morning of 5 January 2014 at the residence of Spotty Dotty and Spotted Dick.

MCM:  Well, your honour and fine members of the jury, it was like this.  It was my first day back to work after the Christmas/New Year break and I was full of the enthusiasm and energy.  On reflection perhaps a little too much …

Barrister:  Just the facts please!

MCM: Sorry.  Mr Dick had purchased some new plants and had left them for me to plant as I saw fit.  One of them, a rather splendid Nandinia domestica “Obsessed”, was earmarked for a place near the pond.  Like the excellent gardener I am ….

Barrister:  We will be the judge of that Ms McG, please continue.

MCM: Hmmmm …… I decided to weed the area first.  This section extends up behind the pond and around the side, involving some mountain goat-esque manoeuvres.  Some of the stones surrounding the pond had weed growing around them and this I dutifully and at great risk to life and limb ….

Barrister:  Please, no need to gild the lily, the court is not interested in your heroics!

MCM:  Well I removed the weed.  A few minutes later I heard a loud splash.

Barrister:  How many minutes, 5 or 50, this may be important.

MCM:  Probably 5 or 10.  How strange I thought, one of the edging stones must have mysteriously been dislodged and has fallen in the pond.  When I went to investigate I was horrified to see the water draining away in a rather rapid and horrifying manner.  My first instinct was to run and hide, but decided to wait and see if it emptied completely and if I could spot any hole.  Whilst standing there I first noticed I was being watched.

Barrister:  Watched?  By whom?

MCM:  Ginger George, king of all he surveys.

Barrister:  And this made you suspicious?

Judge:  Order, order, do not put words into Ms McGardeners mouth!

Barrister:  Sorry M’lud, so what do you think when you saw him sitting there?

MCM:  I thought he had framed me, he had pushed the stone whilst my back was turned, he hates ponds, there aren’t even any fish in there (on reflection was just as well), and all that horrid wet stuff, surely it is obvious?

Barrister:  Thank you, you may now stand down.  Members of the jury, you have heard the evidence.  Was it Ms Clumsy McGardener who broke the pond or was she framed by George the saboteur?  You may retire to consider your verdict ……..

I was thrilled to be nominated by the multi-talented biking gardener http://thebikinggardener.com/ for the Leibster Blog Award.  Much humbled and flattered by this prestigious award I have prepared a short acceptance speech:

I could not have reached this pinnacle of my career, the inner sanctum of the blogosphere elite, without the support and encouragement of my family, long-suffering other half, friends and colleagues, …….. sorry what did you say, what do you mean it’s not that kind of award?  I don’t actually get a prize, no trophy in the shape of a clenched fist with trowel, or one of those enormous cheques for the short-sighted, perhaps garden centre vouchers?  What nothing?  And I have to answer eleven questions that Mr Bike has prepared and then think of eleven new ones and nominate five other bloggers with less than 1000 followers to do the same who then do the same.  They then link their posts back to my blog.  Are you quite sure?  No champagne, not even a chocolate muffin?  Oh well better get on with it ……

1  What is your favourite month?

I think it is April, such an optimistic month, when most things are still at the fairy tale phase and nothing has had a chance move to the horror film stage yet.

2 Strawberries or raspberries?

Raspberries without a doubt, served with clotted cream and/or ice cream we are talking about eating and not growing here?

3 What plant would you miss most if you could not grow it?

Tricky one this as I am quite a hussy on the gardening front with my favourites changing from year to year.  I think I will say salvias, but that could change by the end of this blog.

4 What crop (fruit or vegetable) do you find it easiest to grow and DO grow most regularly?

Apples, they just need a little pruning and to keep vigilant for the bugs.  We have two in our tiny back garden that crop very well.  This year we had to share them with the jackdaws.  Actually they didn’t share that much the greedy devils.

5 What is your favourite bulb?

I love the species tulips.

6 What is your favourite garden scent?

Smelling (!) is not my best asset but I would probably say a winter scent such as Clematis armandii or Daphne bholua “Jacqueline Postill”. 

7 What has been your biggest garden failure/problem?

At Cliffe it was definitely the deer, they were my nemesis.

8 Have you ever grown flowers for eating? (apart from cauliflowers!)

Not specifically but I do have a munch when I walk around the garden, daylilies, nasturtiums, I suck the nectar from the base of fuchsias…. just the usual when feeling a little peckish.

9 Who was/is your greatest gardening influence?

Christopher Lloyd was suitably irreverent to impress me.

10 Do you use a garden kneeler or knee pads?

I increasingly (as I am reaching my prime) use knee pads.  I think I need to invest in some better ones that don’t slip around all the time.  I am never quite sure which way up they go either!

11 What is your favourite garden insect?

I love grasshoppers and crickets.

Well that wasn’t too painful, I quite enjoyed it actually, so my nominees are:

http://thepaintinggardener.wordpress.com/

http://botanicallyinclined.org/blog/

http://pots-and-polytunnels.blogspot.co.uk

http://islandthreads.wordpress.com/

http://thetattoedgardener.wordpress.com/

OK so now time for my  questions (rubs hands together in pantomime glee):

1   What tool couldn’t you live without (ok you probably could but humour me!)

2  Do you ever listen to music when you work, if so what is your preference?

3  Cake of choice for tea time?

4  Favourite plant to grow from seed?

5  Is there a plant you don’t like?

6  What is the worst job in the garden?

7  To lawn or not to lawn, that is the question?

8  What is the best time of the day?

9  What gardening “rules” do you break on a regular basis?

10  What do you prefer, cold and dry or warm and wet?

11 What other hobbies, not horticulturally related, do you have (Mrs D cannot say painting!)

There you go, do your best and don’t forget to let me know when you have answered.  Actually anyone can answer, just for fun.  Now are you sure you haven’t reconsidered, a tube of smarties perhaps?